The Rest of Week Eleven
OK, so the Jets are even worse than I thought. I can live with that. And, you know, I’ve got a whole lot of other opportunities to be wrong still ahead of me. Here’s the rest of what not to expect in week eleven.
Carolina (+7) at Detroit
If there’s a reason, beyond the general sense that Detroit is starting to drift downward in the NFC North standings, to believe that Carolina has any chance of keeping this close, I can’t think of what it might be. Cam Newton? Nah. One player just ain’t enough. Lions by 10.
Oakland (+1) at Minnesota
OK, I’ve been nothing if not up front about how unimpressed I am with the Chargers. I can’t claim otherwise. And still, San Diego is a much better team than Minnesota. The Chargers have an overrated defense; the Vikings have no defense. The Chargers have an iffy O line; the Vikings have an awful O line. The Chargers are ostensibly in the playoff hunt; the Vikings are starting to prepare for the draft. So if you can go into San Diego and beat the Chargers with your best offensive player on the bench, you ought to be able to go into Minnesota and do the same to the Vikings, right? That’s where my head’s at, anyway. Oakland by four.
Dallas (-7) at Washington
Native Americans quarterbacks have thrown a combined 15 picks this season. That’s a mark topped so far only by Phillip Rivers. Rex Grossman has been responsible for 11 of those interceptions, while managing just six TD passes. Even Tony Romo isn’t that bad. Dallas by 10.
Buffalo (+3) at Miami
The Bills are fading. They’ve lost three of their last four games and took an absolute beating last weekend in Dallas. And while you wouldn’t exactly say the Dolphins are on the ascent, they have managed two straight wins. That’s something. But you know what? The Bills are still the better team in this matchup. And my gut tells me they have a bit of life left in them yet. I think they dig deep and find a way to pull off the road upset here. Buffalo by a point.
Jacksonville (+1) at Cleveland
I’m not sure how the Browns are favored by one here. I mean, last I checked, even a safety is worth two points. And since it’ll be a small miracle if there’s more than one scoring play in this entire game, I’m thinking whichever team wins has to come out ahead by at least two. The Browns are at home, so I’ll take them. Cleveland by two.
Cincinnati (+7) at Baltimore
The Bengals had a chance to establish themselves as serious AFC North contenders in a home game against the Steelers last weekend. They came up short, thanks mostly to Andy Dalton‘s two fourth quarter picks (killer for a team that has succeeded in large part because they almost never turn the ball over). They have a chance to turn it around this weekend by beating the amazingly hot-and-cold Ravens on the road. It’s hard for me to imagine that happening, but I think the Bengals will be able to keep it closer than a touchdown. Baltimore by three.
Tampa Bay (+14) at Green Bay
And the beat goes on. Packers by 20.
Seattle (+3) at St. Louis
Ah, the NFC West. The only reason to suspect either offense will be able to complete a drive is that neither defense can stop anything. I’ll take the home team straight up, but I’m looking for a push with the points.
Arizona (+3) at San Francisco
The 49ers can’t mathematically clinch the NFC West title this weekend. They’ll have to wait until their Thanksgiving night matchup with Baltimore for that opportunity. San Francisco by a touchdown.
Tennessee (+6.5) at Atlanta
Rumor has it, the Falcons spent the whole week adding a revolutionary new play into their offensive repertoire. It’s called the goddamn quarterback sneak. Unless abject stupidity finds a way to prevail for two consecutive weeks, Atlanta wins this one by a field goal.
San Diego (+3.5) at Chicago
Do you think once the Chargers fall to 4-6, “experts” will stop claiming they’re still the top contender for the AFC West title? I certainly do hope so. Chicago by 10.
Philadelphia (+5.5) at NY Giants
Honestly, I think you can set Philadelphia’s quarterback issues aside. At least if you’re looking at who’s gonna win straight up. Because the fact of the matter is, even when the Eagles are healthy, they have an incredible knack for blowing leads in the fourth quarter. And no team in football this season has been better at comeback wins than the Giants. Of course, the question of Eagles quarterback does come into play when you’re looking at this thing with the points. And the answer there is New Jersey by nine.
Kansas City (+15) at New England
I don’t know if the Patriots D, banged up as it is, started rounding into form in New Jersey Sunday night, or if the Frat Boys simply played like the mediocre team they are. I don’t think it matters for this game. I think what matters here, for the most part is this: Tyler Palko. New England by 21.
