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Go Ahead And Touch The Damned Dial

April 19th, 2005

I’ve got just one question regarding this thing with Monday Night Football moving to ESPN. Does this mean that as of the end of the 2005 season fucking Hank Williams Jr. will finally be out of my life for good? Because if that’s the case, I don’t much give a shit what else happens (I mean, as long as there’s a game on some channel on Monday nights), I’ll be a happy guy.

Seriously, I mean I know there’s a lot of noise being made about this move out there, but what’s the difference? There’s still gonna be a Monday night game. And there’s still gonna be a Sunday night game. And Al Michaels (who’s a douchebag, but a great play-by-play guy) and John Madden (who’s an idiot — albeit a mostly loveable idiot — about everything but football, but a great analyst, because he knows every goddamn thing there is to know about football) will land somewhere. And the Sunday night crew from ESPN, which one has to imagine will end up doing the Monday Night games, will still suck, only on a different night. And there will actually be yet another NFL studio show — since NBC will be doing one on Sundays whereas ABC never did one on Mondays (ESPN did it then, but it was mostly the same as their Sunday night show) — and it’ll probably include Bob Costas and a few other mostly insufferable, self-satisfied jackasses. And, the important thing will be that the games will still be the games. So the beat goes on — except, I hope, not for fucking Bocephus.

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