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NFL 2022 Week Two Picks, Post Opener

September 11th, 2022

I’ve decided not to dwell on the fact that my pick for the 2022 season opener was absolutely, spectacularly wrong. Because, you know, I pretty much always pick the Thursday night games wrong, so I’m still on par. Instead, I’m obsessing over the eight road teams giving points this week. Eight. And it was nine before Thursday. That’s an uncomfortable situation in any week. In week one when there’s nothing but offseason and preseason to draw from, it’s just impossible. So this is me throwing darts. And landing, as always, on what not to expect.

New Orleans (-5.5) at Atlanta
It looks like it’s going to be a long season for the Falcons. But it also looks like 2022 is going to prove more than a bit of a slog for the Saints as well. Still, the New Orleans D probably has enough going for it to deliver a win this week. Saints by four.

San Francisco (-6.5) at Chicago
I don’t want to keep picking road teams. But I also don’t want to pick the Bears to beat a good team on any field. Niners by three.

Pittsburgh (+7) at Cincinnati
This seems about right. Even if Cincinnati takes a step back rather than the step forward everyone is expecting this season, the several steps back Pittsburgh has taken should more than make up the difference. Still, a touchdown in a divisional game is a lot to give. Bengals by six.

Philadelphia (-5) at Detroit
I’m not sure I believe in the 2022 Eagles. But I know I don’t believe in the 2022 Lions. So here I go, picking another road favorite to win but not cover. Philly by a field goal.

New England (+3.5) at Miami
Visits to Miami are never easy for the Patriots. Playing there early in the season with the game time temperature predicted to be 90 doesn’t help. The Patriots are a better football team than the empty-headed loudmouths who dominate sports media in Boston want us to believe. But I wouldn’t count on this game shutting that crowd up. Dolphins by three.

Baltimore (-6.5) at NY Jets
The Ravens are going to hit a few bumps along the way this season. But the Jets, at most, are a speed bump. Baltimore by seven.

Jacksonville (+3) at Washington
I can’t say one thing about either of these teams with any degree of confidence. I guess I like Washington’s defense to carry the team here. Commanders (it’s a stupid name, but at least not an offensive one) by four.

Cleveland (pick ’em) at Carolina
Meh. Panthers by six.

Indianapolis (-7) at Houston
Do the Texans have an actual football team to field? Colts by four.

NY Giants (+5.5) at Tennessee
I think we’ll see the Giants show some flashes of hope through the season. And that’s fine. New Jersey may not be rebuilding, but they’re, you know, rebuilding. Still, the Titans are a better team than they’re getting credit for right now. That should show here. Tennessee by a touchdown.

Green Bay (pick ’em) at Minnesota
On the road against your toughest division rival with your aging quarterback lined up behind a depleted O line is not an idea way to start a season. Minnesota by four.

Kansas City (-6.5) at Arizona
I’m not sure it would even feel like football season without the media getting an excuse to declare the Chiefs certain Super Bowl champions after week one. Kansas City by 14.

Las Vegas (+3.5) at LA Chargers
This game could go either way, which means you pick the home team. Chargers by three.

Tampa Bay (-2.5) at Dallas
I’m not picking against Tom Brady’s Bucs, though I think there’s a decent chance I end up regretting that this week. Tampa by one.

Denver (-6.5) at Seattle
It sure looks like the Seahawks are in for a long season. And Denver’s new QB may be coming into this game looking to make a statement. Broncos by eight.

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