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Week Eight Picks

October 23rd, 2014

OK, so I knew I was coming back to earth at some point. And, all-in-all, week seven wasn’t that bad. I went an almost respectable 9-6 straight up, if a pitiful 5-10 against the spread. For the season, that makes me 69-37 straight up, 47-57-2 against the spread. Let’s see how much worse things can get. Here’s what not to expect.

San Diego (+9) at Denver
I kind of feel like the best way to beat the Chargers isn’t through the air but on the ground. And I’m not sure the Broncos are the team best suited to pull that off. So if the game were in San Diego, I’d take the Chargers. But it isn’t. So I’m taking the Broncos. But I’m sure as hell not giving nine points. Wouldn’t surprise me in the least if the margin ended up being just one.

Detroit (-3.5) vs. Atlanta at Wembley Stadium, London
Poor, poor Matt Ryan. He takes about half a dozen sacks in this game. And the Lions come out on top by a touchdown.

Minnesota (+2.5) at Tampa Bay
Teddy Bridgewater has finally found an end to his sack woes. It’s called the Tampa Bay pass rush and it couldn’t find an opposing quarterback with a map and a magnifying glass. Let’s see if that doesn’t also help cut down on Bridgewater’s picks. I’ve got a hunch it does. Vikings by a field goal.

Chicago (+6) at New England
Turmoil shmurmoil. I don’t much care what’s going on in Chicago’s locker room. The Bears have been losing games because they can’t stop the pass and they can’t hold on to the ball. Those things aren’t getting solved in this game. Patriots by 10.

St. Louis (+7) at Kansas City
Forget about letdown games. The Rams surely won’t be able to maintain the momentum of their upset victory over the Seahawks last week. But that’s not why they’re losing this game. The Rams are losing this game because the Chiefs are a better team. The Chiefs D can stop the Rams O. Doesn’t work the other way around. It’s really that simple. Kansas City by 13.

Seattle (-5) at Carolina
The Seahawks aren’t losing three in a row. Or at the very least, they’re not losing their third straight to a team without a defense. Seattle by a touchdown.

Buffalo (+3) at NY Jets
Watch as Percy Harvin is celebrated as the savior of Jets football after New Jersey pulls of a win an a game they would have won with or without him. This is going to be great. Jets by six.

Miami (-6) at Jacksonville
And the muddle in the middle of the AFC East becomes even more muddled, though no less middling. Dolphins by a touchdown.

Houston (-2) at Tennessee
In which the Texans beat up on their division rivals and pull back to .500. Houston by four.

Baltimore (pick ’em) at Cincinnati
The Ravens complete the comeback they started to mount in the second half of their week one loss to the Bengals. Baltimore by three.

Philadelphia (+2.5) at Arizona
The Eagles turnover troubles finally catch up with them. Arizona by three.

Indianapolis (-3) at Pittsburgh
Bet the over. Indianapolis, 38-31.

Oakland (+7) at Cleveland
Well, this should buy Brian Hoyer some peace of mind. Browns by two touchdowns.

Green Bay (+1.5) at New Orleans
Don’t talk to me about where this game is being played. Give me one concrete reason for believing the Saints can compete with the Packers, let alone beat them. You can’t, right? Because there isn’t one. Green Bay by nine.

Washington (+9.5) at Dallas
I’m not sold on the Cowboys. Not yet. But I’m certain their good enough to clobber an awful Racists squad. Dallas by seventeen (and half of America in bed by halftime).

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