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NFL 2021 Week Nine Picks

November 7th, 2021

Another week when I forgot to post. Also haven’t had time to check my week eight results. So it goes.

Here’s what not to expect.

NY Jets (+11) at Indianapolis
The Colts are mediocre at best. The Jets can’t even remember what mediocrity feels like. Still, giving double digits on a short week feels extreme. Colts by nine.

Cleveland (+2.5) at Cincinnati
Sometimes the 2021 Bengals look like a professional football team. Not always. But a little more often than the Browns. Cincinnati by a point.

Denver (+10) at Dallas
You can say anything you like, but when you’re a seller at the NFL trade deadline, and it’s not to do with locker room issues, what you’re signaling is that you’ve started looking to future seasons. And that’s about right for Denver, who can perhaps compete against half the teams in the league. The Cowboys are not one of the teams the Broncos can compete with. Dallas by 17.

Houston (+5.5) at Miami
With the second overall pick in the 2022 NFL Draft on the line, look for the Dolphins to step up and shoot themselves in the foot with a win. Miami by a field goal.

Atlanta (+6) at New Orleans
A week to prepare to face Trevor Siemian should be enough for pretty much any NFL defense. If only the Falcons had one of those. Saints by four.

Las Vegas (-3) at NY Giants
Three? I mean, I know it can’t have been easy for the Raiders to concentrate on football this week. And then there’s the early game on the east coast. But still. It’s the Giants. I’m thinking Vegas by six anyhow.

New England (-3.5) at Carolina
The Patriots were far from perfect in Los Angeles a week ago, but they looked like they’d turned a corner. That should be enough, at least for the moment at hand. New England by seven.

Buffalo (-14.5) at Jacksonville
I’ll be shocked if this is still a game at halftime. Bills by 20

Minnesota (+6) at Baltimore
This should work out to be the second of at least three straight losses for the Vikings. It should be five, but that’s gonna depend on whether Aaron Rodgers pulls his head out of his ass in time to lead the Packers against the Vikings in two weeks. One way or another, the Vikings are on a fast track to the offseason. Ravens by nine.

LA Chargers (-1.5) at Philadelphia
You can count on the Eagles to play mostly competent football against lousy opponents. But they’re not hosting a lousy opponent this week. And taking advantage of the Eagles’ abundant shortcomings should allow the Chargers to get their feet back under them. Los Angeles by four.

Green Bay (+7) at Kansas City
We’re used to seeing Aaron Rodgers choke on the field in the postseason. But his midseason choke off the field is a creative new twist. If nothing else, I guess we can thank the idiot for keeping things bizarrely interesting. Kansas City by 10.

Arizona (+3) at San Francisco
YepBecause it’s a divisional game? Because the Cardinals stumbled against the Packers? I just don’t get the Niners giving three points here. Or, you know, any points. Cardinals by a field goal.

Tennessee (+7) at LA Rams
Part of me thinks the Titans should be able to keep this closer than seven even without Derrick Henry. But, eh, maybe not. Maybe if the game were in Nashville. Rams by eight.

Chicago (+6.5) at Pittsburgh
This game should offer a nice, clean illustration of the difference between not good and bad. Not good (Steelers) comes out on top by four.

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